One way to feel better...

...Is to spend some time on your daddy's chest making googly eyes at him. I am sooo glad he's home. He's been gone for like a quarter of my life so far and I've missed him a ton. Here I am showing him my new smiles and sounds:

Now you know where I get my good looks from!

Worst. Day. Ever.

I finally had "one of those days" that I'm always hearing about. You know, the kind your momma always tells you about.

First, let me warn you that this post contain a graphic image that may be difficult for some folks to see (especially grandparents). Let me further clarify that this image is for the good of the public and serve as a warning to other babies approaching the big 2M mark. Let me just say that place your parents take you to with the guy in the white coat is no fun!

Yep, I went to the doctor's office today for my two month check up. Both Mom and Dad went so I knew it was a big deal. First we went into an office waiting area where I hammed it up for the other people who all said how cute I was. Then we went in a small room where a nice lady weighed and measured me (11 lbs, 14 ounces and 22 1/2 inches!!!). Next a guy in a white coat came in and wiggled me around, shined little lights in all my northern orifices, poked my belly, and declared me "perfect".

Just as I was basking in my own perfection, thinking how wonderful I am, an evil lady came in wielding sharp objects. She asked my Dad to hold my hand but he said he couldn't. She asked him to sit down so he wouldn't fall over. As I was contemplating the meaning of that exchange Mom took my hand and stroked my face and then, BAM!!! That lady skewered me. Don't worry, my mom's a lawyer and we got pictures of the whole thing. I plan to sue. The lady did it four times while Dad squirmed and stared at the carpet. Here I am in agony:
Look at all those needles on the table. They are almost as big as me. It was awful. And now I feel terrible. Sure, they put a couple of Snoopy Band Aids on my legs but really, folks, do you think that makes a difference to someone who can barely focus on a Band Aid? This has to be the worst day of all 67 I've been on the outside.

I'll try to be more positive next time, but for today I've got to milk this one.

New name, new look, new me!

Woo hoo. My mom promised that as soon as I slept at least 6 hours in one stretch for three days in a row I would get to change the blog's name and layout. Really, I'm over the whole "Lentil Bean" thing. It's just embarassing because I have to explain it to everyone and no one seems to get it except my parents and, well, you know how they are...

So here it is, The Adventures of Princess Awesome, now in pink and with sound! I was so excited last night when I woke up after 6 hours and 3 minutes that I got the hiccups just thinking about it:

This really is perfect timing too because today is my 8 week birthday! I'm getting more hair, my face has cleared up, and my dad will be home in two days. It really doesn't get much better than this, does it?

A movie by LD and Princess Awesome

Little Dog (screen name LD) and I were talking the other day and decided it would be fun to make a movie. Like many first movies, it has no sound. I blame the writer's strike but it could also be because my mom did not read the camera manual chapter on sound. Either way, you can see that we make a lovely on-screen couple and most certainly have a future on You Tube if either of us so desires.

Broadening my horizons

So I just realized there is more to waking life than eating, pooping, crying, and staring at Little Dog. I just realized that these crazy creatures are hovering above my bed!!!

I can't believe I've been sleeping under these thing for nearly two months and never noticed them. I'm not sure what they are, either. When I asked my mom about them she said something about psychedelic mushrooms and 60's toy designers. Either way, when you combine them spinning slowly above you while Mozart, Bach and Beethoven play in the background, it's quite the experience. Here I am with Little Dog watching them go round and round:

I hear that listening to classical music while strange creatures hover above you during infancy makes you a genius. I'm not sure about all that hoopla. I think we babies are just amused by the theory and have nothing better to do that make noises and squirm at virtually anything you put in front of us at this stage. Either way, it's fun to finally be noticing things around me other than Little Dog. If you don't have one of these above your bed, I highly recommend one!

I scream, you scream...

...for now apparant reason!!!

Yep, I've mastered the art of uncontrollable, inconsolable, otherwise unacceptable crying (exception for babies - check the rule book). Here I am in action last night. I lasted four and a half hours before I gave in!!!Yep, one of my new favorite things to do is have a good four to six hour cry about every third day of my life. It gives me something to look forward to and makes the days pass more quickly. It's fun because I make my mom carry me in awkward positions, pretend I like it, then scream at the top of my lungs if she moves an inch. I'm not sure she likes the game, bit it's the only one I know right now. It's quite tiring but great for the lungs - I'm thinking rock star or opera singer might be in my future...My mother seems to think I won't have a future if I keep it up. I'm not sure what that means, but it doesn't sound promising.

All the books say it's something called "colic" but to me it's just venting my frustration at having no control of my life. Think about it: my neck doesn't work, I poop myself on an hourly basis, I have to eat the same thing every day, people babble at me as if I'm an imbecile, and my parents sometimes dress me funny and take pictures while referring to something called "prom night". You'd scream too.

Just when I think my mom has had enough I'll put on my angelic face and settle in for the night, being sure to smile at her lots the next day and look just as cute as can be before I start up again. Here I am getting back in her good graces on one of my days off.
I can't wait for Christmas when I can show the whole family how loud I can get!