Princess of the Dance

I meant to post this last week on St. Patrick's Day. Once again, I blame my mother. She claims she's been busy working on the house so we can sell it and move somewhere with something called 'electricity' and another thing called 'pavement'. Whatever.

While she and Onay were working on the house I was practicing my Irish jig. Here I am on St. Patrick's Day, in my lucky green outfit, practicing the Riverdance:

I think I have a future in Vegas.

My parents do what???

Once again, it's been a while. I'm sorry but I've been busy. So let me get right down to the business of telling you what I've been up to.

First, my parents took me on a trip with my grandparents, Onay and Papa. We went to Palm Springs so my parents could run around in lingerie and drink beer. Papa thought it sounded like a good idea too so he joined us. Good thing my dad brought some extra lingerie. Here is a nice family picture from a typical Friday night out on the town:
Yes, I was shocked too. In fact, here I am wondering if I might possibly have been switched at birth. I'm not buying this whole born in Bakersfield, mother's maiden name was Klingon thing either...
You would look like that too if you watched your Daddy run away in a sheer lime green teddy and Heineken socks with his best friend:
Scary. I hope they don't make me do that when I grow up! Then again, I did get my own running bag, complete with a drinking vessel and my first hashing t-shirt. Of course, my mom was too lazy to take a picture so I'll have to show it to you later.

The Element of Surprise

Everyone loves a good surprise, right?

You'd be shocked too if a 35 year old mother sat on the floor making raspberry sounds at you while holding a camera in front of your face.

I think I'm going to start calling her Mommarazzi.

Then again, I guess I should get used to it seeing as how I'm royalty and all...

My First Valentine's Day

So I'm sporting a new hairstyle these days, it's called a mohawk. I guess my parents were planning to give me one some day just for fun so I decided to beat them to the punch. I still can't figure out what a mullet is, though.
Yes, I've been working out, thanks for noticing. Check out my slimmed down waistline and nice, trim thighs. Oh, and look what I can do now:


Just like a dog, on command except I don't get a bone when I do it.

By the way, can anyone tell me what "jowls" are? Everyone says I have great ones and then smiles. I don't get it...

Where does the time go?

People always say time goes by more quickly the older you get. Well, isn't that just the truth? Here I am, almost four months old and it's been nearly a month since my last post. And boy, has a lot happened in that month!

First, I went to Sacramento stayed with Onay and Papa for a whole week. I got to lay on the floor and be spoiled the whole time. I think they like me up there.

I even got to go on my first paparazzi assignment while I was there. Yeah, I guess some actor who is named after a candy bar died that week and a friend of my mom's works for a trashy magazine that you see in the check-out lines at the grocery stores called her other friend who is pregnant and lives in Sacramento and sometimes helps the paparazzi guy with stories on the very day me and mom were going to lunch with the preggo so we decided to drive her to a place called Davis to harass the sister of the mother of the recently deceased actor's baby who goes to college there. Yes, that was a long sentence. Thankfully the sister wasn't home or she'd have been accosted by a six months pregnant reporter with a new mom and baby sidekick in tow. I don't know about you, but I think the story of our quest for a quote would be more interesting than the actual quote from the poor girl. Still, it ruled out tabloid journalist as a future career for me - it would have been sooooo embarrassing to actually meet the girl and ask her an obvious question. How tacky can you get?

My lousy mom didn't take many pictures during our trip but here I am with Onay saying goodbye:

It's hard to believe that was almost a month ago. Since then I've been working out a lot, spending time on my tummy, keeping my mom sleep deprived, and learning some consonant sounds that I gleefully yell any chance I get - particularly when she takes me to work and is on the phone.

Oh, and I can laugh now. Of course, I won't laugh for the camera. In fact, I play this little game where I laugh at my mom until she gets the camera and then I just stare at her for five minutes while she makes noises and faces and tries to be funny. She ends up with video of me looking stoic while she sounds like a wild monkey in the background. It's pretty fun. In fact, I think I'll go do it again right now. Either that or wait until she changes my diaper and then poop right away. That's another one of my favorites. See you later.

My first trail

So my folks are in a "running club" called the Hash House Harriers. It's a group of people that gets together to drink beer and run around various communities. Yeah, it sounded fishy to me too, but I finally went to a "run" this weekend and found out it's not so scary after all.

Here I am looking a bit skeptical in my baby jogger:
Yes, those are Mardi Gras beads. No, I did not earn them the traditional way - and I've been told I never will because my mother has a whole store of them for me. I'm still not sure how she got hers and I'm not asking...but they sure are fun to look at when I get bored.

Once we got going it was pretty fun just cruising around staring at things and listening to the runners blowing whistles, yelling "On On!", and drawing on sidewalks...All activities I look forward to participating in one day. In fact, here I am singing along at the end:
Yes, these people stand around and sing songs after they run around whistling, drinking, shouting, and drawing arrows. How neat is that? This sort of thing makes a lot more sense than Christmas, but that's just me...

After the run and dinner my mom and me went back to our hotel and watched cable tv while dad went on a pub crawl with the runners. He came back early because it was no fun without me and mom. I could've told him that!

In other news, I turn three months old today, which means I can start wearing all my cute 3-6 month old clothes. This jacket, complete with bear ears on the hood, is from Auntie Claire and I just love it!!! Thanks Auntie Claire!!!
Oh, and I heard I'm going to Sacramento with Mom tomorrow to visit Onay and Papa. I can't wait!

There's another princess in the family???

Where does the time go? Sorry for not posting lately but my mom is full of excuses like being sick, having lost the battery charger for the camera, and something called the generator not working so she can go online during a snowstorm. I say enough of the excuses, Mom, it's time for a holiday recap!

First of all, the holidays sure are exhausting. First my parents strapped me in a seat for five and a half hours and drove me half-way up the state to a place called Sacramento where a movie star who runs our state lives somewhere near my grandparents. I fell asleep on the way and when I woke up I was at my grandparents' house being cuddled and held and loved by none other than Onay herself. I'd say it was well worth the trip.

No sooner had I arrived than I was dressed up as a reindeer and taken to a party where I was passed amongst the millions of relatives I have in this place called Sacramento while a fat man in a red suit ran around a pool table handing out presents. Here I am in my outfit:
Yeah, I get cuter every day.

The next morning I was woken up early and taken to my cousins' house to find out what the fat man in the red suit brought everyone. This is some sort of bizarre family ritual having to do with magical trees that require no water or soil yet produce light, a week long obsession with the colors red and green, the wrapping of toys and other new objects in paper for the sole purpose of ripping the paper off hours later, and a marathon eating contest wherein you are required to eat all day, especially homemade cookies. I'm still trying to figure it all out and am told it will happen every year at the same time for the rest of my life. Pretty crazy, huh?

We spent Christmas, as the day is called, at my cousins' house. This is my cousin Griffin, he got a Nintendo DS - which is basically a little thing he stares at all day while fumbling his thumbs and making grunts. Boys sure are strange.And this, my friends, is my new mentor. Her name is Sidney and she's my cousin and, as you can see, she too is a princess, complete with a throne, gown and pink horse!
Princess Jenn, as she went by the day I met her, was gracious enough to let me visit her kingdom and play on her princess bed. It was the most wondrous, marvelous, pinkest, stuffed-animalist place on earth and I loved it.After she let me talk to her friends on the princess bed, she imparted some princessly advice to me. I can't tell you exactly what it was, because it's for princesses only, but here we are out of our princess attire talking princess stuff:
Poor Princess Sidney (she stopped going by Princess Jenn at some point that day), she doesn't realize that someday that pink throne will be mine!!! In the meantime, I'll glean as much knowledge as possible from her...